Mother's Day - in honor of my infertility sisters and fellow heart moms

Today is Mother's Day.  I'm mostly excited, but it holds a lot of emotion for me so I wanted to write this post in honor of all mothers, but especially in honor of those women who are mothers at heart, dreaming of the little miracle that will someday call them mom, dreaming of the day that Mother's Day will not be so painful.  I also write this in honor of the moms who are spending it in the hospital, fighting their best battle for their little warriors.  I want these moms to know that they are not alone, and that we celebrate them too.

While I agree that moms should be honored, and I celebrate my own mom and my husband's mom, as well as the generation of moms that came before them, my grandmothers, I really wish it was just a day to honor all women.  Why can't it just be Women's Day?  There are so many women out there who are not moms that are pretty extraordinary.  And how about those who have tried to become a mom but try as they might, they can't get pregnant?  Or what about the moms who have lost their babies and are now childless? This day is heartbreaking for these groups of women. 

Mother's Day is a day that is particularly hard for infertiles, those who have experienced miscarriage, and others without kids, especially for those who want kids.  It is a reminder of everything they want but don't, or can't, have.  I know because I've been there.  This is the reason our daughter is named Hope.  In the weeks leading up to Mother's Day, all everyone talks about is Mother's Day.  There are ads on tv, people ask about your plans, you can't even go into a store without having it brought to your attention.  Year after year, especially while I was fighting the infertility battle, I wanted to crawl into a hole and only emerge when it was over.  It was a constant, painful reminder of what I wanted and could not have.  It filled me with sadness and with each mention of Mother's Day, my heart is with these women.  Today I will honor the childless, whether it is those in the throes of IVF, those simply trying to conceive, those who have not yet met the someday father of their future children.

My heart goes out to my fellow heart moms, or other moms of sick kids, especially those who are not as lucky as I have been.  These are the moms who will be spending their Mother's Day in the hospital in vigil by their child's bedside, or worse, grieving the child they have lost.  I think of the mom of little baby Lawson who died last week.  Two weeks ago, she was probably looking forward to this weekend.  Lawson's surgery was supposed to be routine and he probably would have been home by now without the complications that eventually cost him his life.  I can only imagine how she must be feeling this weekend.  Or the mom of a baby named Evanna, who is fighting hard as I write.  There are so many more stories like this.  I pray that these ladies, and other moms of sick kids and angels in heaven can find 

peace.   

This morning, I will head over to Davis Square for the Mary O'Brien Memorial Run, M.O.M's run, a popular run with my running club.  I look forward to running it for the first time as a mom.  Then we will go to Chris' parents.  Next weekend I celebrate it with my family in Ocean City.  I will spend my first Mother's Day doing what I have often done on Mother's Day, but this year I will be joining in on the celebration rather than as just looking on.  And as I do so, in my heart I will celebrate the women whose shoes I have walked in on previous Mother's days and pray that one day they will be joining in as well.  Take a moment to tell a childless women how much she means to you.  Trust me, she needs it today.  In my heart, I will also celebrate grieving and fighting moms, and I will dream of a world where there is no more childhood illness, no more loss.  If you can, take a moment and celebrate these moms with me as well.  They are so tough and brave, and no one wants to be in their shoes.  

Happy Mother's (Women's) day!