Friday, April 24, 2015

Running for Hope



Two weeks ago today I took part in the 119th running of the Boston Marathon.  This event is symbolic for so many reasons, both to my city and to me.  Even before 2013, the Boston Marathon was a big deal here in the Boston area.  It symbolizes the end of a long winter and welcomes spring.  People are off of work for Patriots Day, a New England holiday marking the anniversary of the battles of Lexington and Concord and of course, Paul Revere's legendary ride.  The Red Sox are home and the game starts at 11AM to coincide with the runners coming through Kenmore square.  Starting the Friday before, there is an energy in the city that is indescribable. 
As a runner, it's like Christmas.  It's the closest thing we have to a convention and it's amazing to see people arriving from all over the world, donning their brightly colored marathon jackets.  It's fun to reminisce about previous Bostons while looking at the different color jackets that symbolize the years.  For local runners, it's easy to get excited, whether we are running or not.  Boston runners are especially proud of this event, the worlds oldest and most prestigious marathon.  Every runner here has had to earn their way, whether it is through grueling training to get that BQ (Boston Qualifier), by raising $5000 or more for charity, or by putting in volunteer time to be issued an invitational number by a running club.  Almost everyone who arrives in Boston to run is excited because it truly is a privilege.
When I learned I was pregnant last March, Boston was one of the first things to come to mind.  I did the math - I knew I'd have at least 5 months to train, even if she was late.  I had worked incredibly hard to earn my number, running a 7 min PR at Philly in 2013, for a 3:33 marathon, something I'm incredibly proud of and had never thought I'd be capable of.  I couldn't pass it up.  So at 8 months pregnant, I registered for the 2015 Boston marathon.  It kept me running throughout my pregnancy and was motivation to start up again shortly after she was born.
What does Boston mean to me?  As a runner, it is everything to me.  I became a runner because of Boston.  Shortly after I moved to Boston, I watched the marathon on TV.  I was so inspired and amazed by the humanity of the sport that I signed up for a half shortly after, at the urging of some friends.  I ran my first half with my friend Jess in 2003 and before I knew it, I was signed up for my first marathon - Hyannis 2004.  It took me 4 years and 13 marathons to qualify, but it was always a goal.  When I finally did, it was by the skin of my teeth, but it was glorious.  I had only seconds to spare.  I hoped to do it again, but it took another 5 years.  
Running is my way of coping when life gets hard. I had to give it up for a while when undergoing ivf treatment and I was miserable.  The combination of the hormones and not exercising caused me to gain 30lbs.  When I was done with IVF, I vowed to never give up running again, as long as I was able.  Many people have remarked on how quickly I returned to running after having a baby, but it truly keeps me sane.  It is my therapy.  I ran up until 3 days before Hope was born.  When she was in the hospital, running was often the only time I got outside.  I often ran home in the afternoon and drove back to the hospital so Chris had a car to drive home in.  It truly was my escape.  On a glorious fall day in early November as my daughter was having her chest closed, I went for a run.  Why?  Because I couldn't think of anything else to do and knew it was the best way to occupy my time.   So in some respect, I owe my sanity to the Boston marathon.  
But it is so much more than that.  It also means friendship.  The community I have found through running is strong and supportive.  It is my village.
And this year, as you all know, it was more meaningful than ever.  I ran for Hope.  Hope for those fighting childhood illness, hope for those fighting infertility, for my Hope.  I have never been more proud to run a marathon.
It was an amazing week.  My running club started the week leading up to the marathon with a memorial to the bombing victims the Monday before the marathon.  Tuesday we ran our final track workout, the Lou Ristaino workout.  Wednesday, a friend had a sign making party, Thursday was our pre-marathon pasta party and the Sean Collier memorial run, and then it was marathon weekend!  

On Friday, Hope and I took the T in to the city to meet my friend Kate and go to the expo.  

First ride on the T!

Kate was an excellent expo companion.  She and I earned our first BQs together at Philly in 2008 and have been through a lot together since.  She wasn't running this year, but had the perfect energy to match my excitement.  We had a great lunch with a couple glasses of wine then on to the expo.  I credit her for all the pictures:

Picking up my number 


Posing with Gordon, one of our many SRR volunteers


On Saturday, it was back into the city for the Children's celebration brunch.  We heard so many inspiring stories and I felt so good about running on the Miles for Miracles team.  We came back into city later that night for dinner with my parents.  We took a few pictures by the finish line.


At the finish

Cute baby in a garden

Sunday we had dinner at my friend Crissy's. She was also running and had invited a few others over.  It was a small, low-key pasta dinner.  It was perfect.  Her kids entertained Hope, the food was good, and the company was even better.  After dinner, we went home and I started to get ready as it was going to be an early wake-up.  It was much more work having to get myself ready as well as get Hope's things ready too.

My singlet, all ready to go 

Marathon Monday was not the day I had ordered.  I wanted a picture perfect sunny /50s day.  Instead we got a cold, raw, rainy 40s.  These were the worst conditions I'd ever raced in.  Only fitting, given what we trained through.  I was way more nervous than I expected, mostly because of the weather.  Had it been a nicer day, the only emotion I would have felt would have been excitement.  But weather is not something you can change, so I tried to make the best of it.  Running for Children's, I was lucky enough to have an indoor place to wait, even if it meant being on the bus by 5:30AM for a race that didn't begin until 10:50.  It was quite a luxury, especially since it was right at the start line.  They had food out for us as well as anything else we might need.  They also had about 10 portapotties just for us, as well as two real bathrooms.  This was amazing!  Anyone who has spent any time around road races knows that not having a bathroom line to stand in is an incredible thing, and even more amazing to have real bathrooms. I watched each wave start from the front porch of the lodge, which was also pretty cool!
When we first got out there, I took a little walk around the Hopkinton common to soak up the energy.  I saw all the news people doing their pre-race coverage.  There was a ton of security, so I wasn't able to do much because I was afraid I wouldn't get back to the lodge.

One of the businesses on the main drag in Hopkinton

Our refuge

The Start line with BAA headquarters in the background 

Hopkinton common

View of Wave 1 from the porch of the lodge

By the time I was escorted out to my corral by the directors of the Miles for Miracles team, I was really nervous.  I got in my corral and started looking for my friend Karen, who I had planned to meet up with.  I saw my friend Carrie-Anne, but resisted the urge to start with her as I knew she was far better trained and had a much more aggressive goal than I did.  I really just wanted to enjoy the day.  I never found Karen.  With 5 or so minutes left, it began to rain.  The gun went off, and we were off!  It was raining pretty good by then and rained for the next 14 or 15 miles, I'm not sure how far.   It was cold.  But I was still determined to soak up the day.  

In the first 5 miles, many runners applauded me for running for Children's.  They grabbed my shoulder, patted me on the back, thanked me for running, shared their stories of what Children's meant to them, asked me about Hope, etc.  It made me so proud of what I was doing.  I loved hearing each of their stories and was touched as they reached out to me.   I didn't really expect this and I was really touched that people took the time to reach out. 

By mile 8, I was cold, wet and needed a pit stop, so I pulled over to a portapotty, something I almost never do when I run marathons.  But I really just needed to hit the reset button.  It was good to get out of the rain.  When I came out, I ran into a friend from SRR, Julia.  She and I ran together for a while, but I was feeling pretty rough, and while I was so happy to see her, I didn't have much energy to chat.  She pulled over in Wellesley to use the bathroom, we met up again after the scream tunnel, but then I couldn't keep up with her anymore and I let her go.  Eventually, when I got into Newton around mile 15, I started to feel good again and I eventually passed her, but it was not the last time I'd see her.  

There were many times between miles 5 and 14 where I wondered if I'd actually finish.  I was so cold, I wondered if I'd end up in a med tent with hypothermia.  Early on, I had duct tape on my shoes and had written "for Hope" on them. When I looked down at them, it helped me rally and continue.  I had to pull the duct tape of at mile 4 because it was too wet.  From that point on, each time I thought of stopping, I thought about how much Hope had endured early in her life, and how much all the children at Children's endure and it gave me strength to continue.  I thought about our time there and I thought about all the kids  and families that were currently hospitalized and how they needed me to be strong.

Spectator support was thin, but strong.  At one point in the first few miles, I saw a kid holding a sign "the rain won't stop you, so it won't stop us". In Natick, around 8.5, my brother in law was cheering with some of his buddies - he was the first of the people I knew that were out there.  I ran over and slapped him and his buddies five.  At this point, I was just so happy to see someone I knew.  I was really struggling, so it was quite a lift.  Next up were the Wellesley College girls. I slapped every one of them five and my face hurt from smiling so much.  Then I ran by the big Children's Hospital Cheer Zone, the first of three.  I felt like a rock star because I knew the people cheering me on in these cheer zones were acutely aware of the difference our team was making with the funds raised.  

Running by the Children's cheer zone

Next up, around mile 14, were our friends, Andy and Shannon, who were out in the rain with their 4 year old, Caroline - it was so great to see them, I was so impressed they were out in the rain, especially since Shannon was 9 months pregnant and delivered a beautiful baby girl a few days later.   I think this was a turning point.  I was more than half way and shortly after I saw them, the rain let up, I think.  It really is hard for me to pinpoint exactly when the rain stopped - I just realized at some point in Newton that it was no longer raining.  Anyway, I knew there were only 3 more miles to the turn into the Newton hills and 4 more until my family, who was waiting for me at 30k.  When I finally made that turn on Commonwealth Ave, I could not stop smiling.  I was so happy.  My friend Crissy passed me, but neither of us had any idea until she looked at her pictures (she's the one in red):


I charged up the hills and was pretty excited about seeing my family.  Chris had a dry shirt and dry shoes for me.  For the first time ever, I had decided on a wardrobe change mid run.  When I got to 30k, I pulled over, ducked under the rope, and started pulling clothes off.  Kate was there and helped undress / dress me. Another friend, Laurie, appeared like a magical unicorn with a pair of red stretchy gloves, presented them to me, and asked if I wanted them - I was like, really?  Are you serious?  And the next thing I knew they were on my hands and had replaced my soaking wet gloves.  After that, I ran over and gave the baby a kiss, and I was off again, but not without slapping hands with all of my SRR teammates spectating at 30k.  

30k

Having the club there is a huge lift - it gives us something to look forward to. We have an "elite water stop" where club members can leave their gear so that it is handed to them as they come by.  This is where I watch the marathon if I am not running.  It's a lot of fun.  This year, it was the reset button I desperately needed.  I left there feeling refreshed and ready for 8 more miles.  It saved my day.  I heard my name one more time as I started to climb Heartbreak - Brendan, another SRR, was standing there and it was a nice surprise!  Also, I spotted Julia once again on this last hill.  It was the last time I'd see her until we were both finished and back at the SRR hotel room.  As I charged up heartbreak hill, the last major climb of the Boston Marathon, I realized I felt great.  For several miles after leaving 30k, I reveled in the fact that I was sort of dry and it was no longer raining!  Heartbreak was one of the places where I contemplated my dryness.  My hands were warm!  It was amazing.  Before I knew it, I had crested heartbreak and had barely noticed.  I began my descent back into the city, and this is where it got really fun.  I slapped all the BC kids five.  This is always a fun part of the race - BC has been partying all morning, so they are pretty fun.  
Around BC my friend Melissa, with whom I ran 6 miles of my qualifying race, passed me.  She looked great and I was so happy I got to see her.  She went on to run 3:32 and change, a BQ and a PR.  After seeing her, the rest of the race is a blur.  I smiled non-stop for all 6 miles.  I slapped people five.  I ran through another Children's cheer zone around 24.5.   I was passing people like crazy.  I was so excited to be feeling so great. I just wanted to soak it in.  As I made the turn from Comm ave "right on Hereford, left on Boylston" I was filled with emotion.  The crowds were roaring.  I ran the whole length of Boylston trying to get people to cheer for me.  The crowds erupted.  It was so much fun, and I was laughing nd crying at the same time.   
I had been five years since I ran this famous stretch down Boyslton.  So much had happened in my life and in this city.  I was so moved to be back here.  I thought of all I had overcome - infertility, pregnancy, Hope's heart surgery, and then of all the city had overcome.  I was filled with pride.  I crossed the finish line, arms stretched wide open and reveled in the glory of it.  I felt like I was glowing for the rest of the day.  There is only one Boston and I had just finished it, and finished in a strong 4:00:57.  This was neither a best or a worst for me time wise, but was certainly my strongest finish and I had never enjoyed Boston more.  I was sad to see it end.  

My friend Kimi took this photo as I crossed the finish on her TV

All finished!

I had fun celebrating my achievement the rest of the week.  My parents and I went into the city the next day to buy a jacket (I've never bought one from previous Bostons!) and to get my medal engraved.  On Wednesday, my friend Melissa and I went to the Sam Adams brewery to get our free pint glasses.  Hope really had fun on the tour...lol.  I think I wore my jacket every day for the last two weeks..lol.  I still feel like I am on cloud nine.  Even though the weather was terrible, I had a great day.  My performance goal was always to have fun, and I'm so glad I met my goal.   I also met and exceeded my fundraising goal - I've raised over $5000 for Children's and donations are still coming in.  Once again - thanks to everyone who donated!  Thank you letters will be coming soon. I hope that every time I run Boston in the future I have as much fun as I had this year.  I finished the race knowing I had met the biggest goal of all - I had run for Hope.  

The day after glow

At the Sam Adams Brewey getting our free pint glasses

Celebrating







Monday, March 30, 2015

Coming out of hibernation and running into spring


It's been a long time since I have posted.  I've been putting it off for awhile.  The problem is I'm not quite sure where to begin.  There's so much to say, it took me over a week to complete this post.  Since my last post we've seen 9 feet of snow and record cold.  We've seen the return of spring (finally!).  Hope has traveled on a plane and finally experienced warm weather.  She's gone from newborn to infant, slept through the night, and eaten solid foods, amongst other milestones.  She's met and visited with so many people. I've struggled to recover from pregnancy and childbirth to train for the Boston Marathon during one of the most brutal winters on record.  That's just the tip of the iceberg...

This was Hope at the time of my last post.  


This is Hope today:

As you can see, she's growing up.  She's  still a peanut and at 5.5 months.  At 12lbs, she's still wearing 3 month clothing, but she's healthy and happy, a good eater and a good sleeper.  She's a joy.  Can you tell?


It took her all winter to grow into this snowsuit, but she did.  I'm hoping that now it fits, we no longer need it.  We got good use out of it.  We have another one, but she never grew into it.  

Here she is the first time she wore it:

And now:


Life with Miss Hope is a blast.  She makes me smile a hundred times a day.  We have settled into a wonderful little routine and I can no longer imagine life without her.  So here are a couple of everyday pictures:

In the bath

Hanging with Sanders

Sleeping beauty at a party

Go Patriots!

Sitting in my bumbo 

Mommy taking selfies while Hope naps

In February, we celebrated national heart month.  For obvious reasons, this is a big deal to us.  We wore red or hearts for most of the month.  

Hand hearts

Happy Valentine's Day!

Our brave little warrior


First professional pictures.  See her scar?

To say this winter was harsh is an understatement.  February was especially hard.  If I could pick anytime to be home with a newborn/infant, it would not be winter, but this of course, was out of our control.  It was a struggle to get out.  Either bundling Hope up, or racing to get Sanders an early morning walk before Hope woke up and Chris went to work, when it was literally 0 degrees out.  For about 5 weeks straight, boots were the only shoes we wore.  There was a point where there was so much snow, that you couldn't see to pull out of the driveway.  I was afraid to drive, so I stayed home - this is so not me.  We had 10 weekends where it snowed - last weekend was the first time it didn't.  But we managed, and we survived, and even got out, thanks to my ring sling and a coat that is two sizes too big.  Here are some pictures, though none do it justice.  

After blizzard #1 on the bike path

Baby snow angel

After the third blizzard

It's hard to see, but the snow is higher than the fence.

King of the mountain

Bundled up to go outside

Sleepy after battling the cold 

There have been so many milestones since January.  

Right after the holidays, little miss started to sleep through the night.  First it was 8 hours, then 9, then 10, and sometimes even 12.  For a while, she was going to bed around 10 and getting up at 6 to eat then going right back to sleep. Eventually she started dropping that 6AM feed and then started pushing bedtime a little earlier each night.  Now she goes to bed reliably at 7:30-8 and sleeps until about 6.  For the last week, she has been waking in the middle of the night several times crying. We think it is probably teething.  I know we are lucky, especially since she is small.  I also have learned to not get used to this schedule as it is constantly evolving.  

Jan 4

Jan 8

Feb 17

Another milestone was when she started to have better head and neck control.  This made her much less resistant to tummy time, but she still doesn't love it.  Now she's not only doing tummy time, but also rolling reliably from her tummy to back.  Because she has better head and neck control, she can sit in her high chair now!



In March, Hope got to go on a plane for the first time when we flew to Florida.  She did great - she held court with all the other passengers and charmed them, then promptly fell asleep.  I couldn't believe how much stuff we had to take!




While we were in Florida, we noticed she was ready to start eating solids.  Each time I'd eat, she'd follow my spoon from plate to mouth then smack her lips.  So far we have dabbled in oatmeal, avocado, sweet potato, peas, and banana.  Avocado was her favorite, peas not so much.  


On St. Patrick's Day, she turned 5 months old.  We celebrated by dressing our little Irish lass in green!


Most recently, Hope has been working on sitting up.  I took this picture last week.  Can you tell how proud she is of herself?


Over the past few months, she has had visitors and met new people.  Here are just a few of her visitors and new friends!

Great Uncle Dave stopped in for a half hour

Meeting Deniz and new cousin John

Meeting Deniz's mom Sibel 

Meeting Celeste, the daughter of Lynn (Fischer) Fote, an old friend.  They are just two weeks apart, Hope is older - hard to tell by the difference in size!

Visit from Dana and little Cam, who became fast friends with Sanders.

Visit from Bucknell friends Becky and Marina

We had a lot of fun in Florida.  Hope loved the warm weather and we loved taking her out without bundling her up.  She enjoyed the beach, had her first dip in the ocean and the gulf.  She also got to see her first Red Sox game and visit Mary Jane, Chris' step-grandmother. Here are some photos.


Bathing beauty

First dip in the ocean

Family photo

Daddy's girl

Play ball!


Mary-Jane

Tummy time on the beach

Toes

Mommy-baby selfie

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I would still run the Boston marathon this year.  I had no idea exactly how much of a challenge this would be.  Between having an infant and Mother Nature, it was almost impossible at times.  In Feb, when I should have been ramping up mileage, my training stalled out because there was just nowhere to run by myself, let alone with a jogger.  Even if there had been a place to run with the BOB, it was way too cold to take an infant out in for more then a few minutes.  I joined a gym for the first time in 5 or 6 years, just to have a place to run.  With the weather the way it was, it was more important than ever to have company, and I'm so glad to have a wealth of running friends who all support each other a when running gets hard.  Another challenge was getting in long runs, though I am happy to report I got them all in.  Like I said, having company was so important, but I couldn't go at 'normal' long run time when all my friends were going, nor could I keep up.  I would not have gotten through it without my friend Kate, who also had to go at non-traditional times.   Here we are at the 30k of the Boston marathon on Valentine's Day, when we ran back and forth on the Newton Hills several times as the 3rd blizzard was just getting going.   I don't know if I could have pushed through this run or several other runs that would have been equally excruciating without company, but were actually fun running with Kate.


I decided to throw myself in the snow - running snow angel!



After everything Children's hospital has done for my family, I chose to join the Miles for Miracles Team to run in honor of Hope and all her doctors / nurses / and every one else who contributed to saving her life.  So many of you have already donated and I'm so grateful!  In two weeks, when I toe the line, it will be in their colorful singlet.  I have met and surpassed my original goal, and have changed that goal several times.  I hope when it is all said and done, to have raised $4000, maybe $5000.  If you'd like to donate for my run in Hope's honor, here's a link to my page:
Http://fundraise.childrenshospital.org/go to/MollyCrellin 
Last week, we went out to the start for our final long run.  Here I am at the start line in my singlet.  The weather was fittingly terrible, but we had a blast!


Somerville Road Runners group shot


Our jubilant crew with the fireman at the Newton firehouse.  


My training was not what I'd typically do when training for a marathon, but it was adequate.  I feel good as I settle into the taper.  I was able to recover from having Hope, survive the winter, and hopefully have a good day at Boston.  What will a good day be?  I have no time goal - just looking to enjoy the day and all the emotions sure to come with it.

Hope is doing wonderfully.  Yesterday we visited with her cardiologist, Dr Friedman, whom I just love.  He was so pleased with her health and couldn't get over how big and healthy she looked.  The last time he saw her, it was just before Christmas.  He performed an echocardiogram and the results were mostly good.  He checked the repairs and all look great.  Her heart is functioning in the way it should.  The only slight issue he could see had to do with one of the pulmonary arteries, which is narrower than a normal artery.  This is not something new, but could affect her lung function and then, eventually, the development of her lungs.  So we will go in to the hospital in the next few months for a lung scan to see how they are functioning.  If the function is lower than he would like, she will be scheduled for a catheterization, which will require a one night stay at hotel Children's, but should be a pretty straightforward, easy procedure.  

Opening Day!!

Her health otherwise has been excellent.  She has not had any colds or other illnesses, which her cardio was very impressed with.  She has beautiful color. She is growing appropriately, though is still pretty small for her age.  At our last pediatrician appointment, we were given permission to stop fortifying her milk, which made me really happy.  It was a pain to have to put a tablespoon of formula in every time we fed her, now she is just getting straight breastmilk.  I'm hanging in there with regards to pumping, though I had a big dip in my supply last week because on top of training for a marathon, I tried to drop  from 5 pumping sessions to 4.  This caused me to come in about 20oz less for the week, which is a little more than 3 bottles.  The good news is I added that dropped pump back in and I've watched my supply slowly come back up.  However, Hope started taking more in early March and since then, I haven't quite kept up.  I have a stash from when she was sleeping, but it will only last so long. I will continue to pump as long as it is worth it and would love to make it to September when I go back to work, but I feel pretty pleased that I will make it 6 months as it hasn't been easy.  I'm guessing as she begins to eat more and more solids, she will take less and less milk and it will eventually even out. 
Developmentally, she's doing amazing.  Her Early Intervention Occupational Therapist says she is a rockstar.  She started out behind on gross motor, but is catching up beautifully.  She easily rolls from front to back and is working hard on rolling back to front.  She's did it a couple times in Florida and hasn't since.  She sits well with support.  She babbles and coos, and recently has started shrieking with joy.  
Up until a week and a half ago, she was a great sleeper.  We suspect she's teething now, so it's been a rough 10 or so nights.  Last night we were up from 2-4, most of which she spent screaming.  I ended up feeding her, which she doesn't usually need in the middle of the night, and after she ate, she played herself to sleep.
We have been busy.  While I miss school, especially the kids and my co-workers, I love being home with Hope.  We go to several mom's groups and I feel like I'm making friends with other moms with kids the same age.  Now that the weather is getting nicer, I'm trying to get us outside at least once a day.  
So that's the update.  Hope reminds me every single day how blessed we are.  I plan to update more as we close in on marathon Monday, so stay posted!

First Easter basket

Hope and her bunny collection 
 
Easter Sunday best!