Wrapping things up...

I'm definitely a little late this week on my 18 week post.  I hit 19 weeks yesterday.  That's what the end of the school year will do to you!

This week has been busy trying to wrap things up at school.  While I have felt fried for a while, and I know my kids have felt the same way, we all managed to rise to the occasion this week and get it done.  It was a busy week of stuffing in the last of new material and wrapping up the school year.   While the past few weeks have felt filled with distraction, for me and them, this week we were all on task.  Yesterday was the last day of classes and today was the first day of finals.  I have graded all of my finals from today, so I can have a nice relaxing weekend.  It sort of feels like summer already, even if there are 4 more workdays.  I'm really ready to be done, but I know I have a busy summer ahead. 

Along with wrapping things up at school, the weather has not been in my favor, and therefore I have had an off week for my fitness.  It started on Saturday when it was just too hot to run after proctoring SATs.  More of the same Sunday, so Sanders and I went for a hike instead.  Monday was the third hot day in a row, so I decided to get up and run before school.  That didn't go overly well - Sanders is NOT and early morning runner and ran out of gas after a mile.  We had to walk a mile home and by then it was too late for me to do anything else.  I did manage to get a swim in Monday afternoon and that was my last workout of the week.  Tuesday and Wednesday, I was just too exhausted and yesterday, I had a full day with no room for a run.  Not to mention I had a migraine and probably wouldn't have run anyway.  Today is a miserable day, weather-wise, but maybe I can drag myself into the basement for a quick workout.  It's ok...I'll get back to it over the weekend.

Monday was a big day!  We went for our Level II ultrasound, also known as an anatomy scan.  This is an hour-long ultrasound where they look at every part of the baby to make sure she is developing ok.  Amazing to get to sit there and look at her for an hour.  She looks perfect and the doctor had nothing but good things to say.  However, our daughter was being stubborn and was hiding her heart, so the doctor couldn't see everything he wanted to see, so we have to go back.  This means another afternoon at the hospital, but on the bright side, it is another opportunity to look at the baby.

Sadly, I will be forever affected by infertility.  The doctor wanting us to come back automatically sent me into a tailspin wondering if there was something wrong that they weren't telling us.  I know this is not why we have to come back, but my brain automatically jumps to conclusions.  This pregnancy has been so trouble-free (I wanted to say easy, but there is nothing easy about pregnancy, even if I am loving it), that I just am waiting for something to go wrong (or to wake up from a wonderful dream).

I am getting bigger - not big enough for strangers to ask when I am due or touch my belly yet, but certainly big enough for people to notice.  Several co-workers have told me I am starting to pop.  I still feel kind of fat, but I do love my belly.  I am thankful for each week that passes, as it is one more week closer to delivering a healthy baby.  In a few weeks, we'll reach viability - this is such a huge milestone!  Then a few weeks after that - third trimester.  I hate to count the weeks, as I'm loving being pregnant, but with each week that passes, it becomes a little more real.  

Finally, I need to share a fortune I got in a Dove chocolate the other day, because I really feel like it sums up where I am right now.  A friend told me I need to save this for the baby book....I think she's right. 

My "kids"

It is a rare occurrence that I am bored at work, my field is just not one that lends itself  to boredom...usually quite the opposite - arriving at 7AM, hitting the ground running, and not even having time to look at the clock until, whoops!  It's 4:00.  Tuesday was one of those rare days when I was bored.  Our kids were involved in MCAS testing.  This is the state standardized test they need to graduate from high school.  It happens three times a year - once in March, one in May, and once in. June.  Usually, I hoard some of my grading and it is a big chunk of very productive time.  It I had an easy week last week and had everything graded before I left on Friday.  It is so nice going into the weekend knowing there is nothing to grade, but it happens so rarely.   Anyway, having gotten the grading done, I had nothing to do while the kids tested.  The way the schedule fell, I only had one class in the afternoon, so it was long day of trying to stay occupied.  Funny, though I didn't get around to posting this until today.   

I few weeks ago, I promised a blog about my kids.  The end of the school year is busy and I never got around to it.  So I'm going to do a  bonus blog.  

Teaching high school is not a career I ever imagined for myself, but it was one of the best things to ever fall into.  After 4 frustrating years of doctoral study, I realized it was not for me and had to decide what next.  My professors at BU recommended high school.  So I went full force into finding a job.  The job at Malden High School was offered to me about a month after I left my PhD.  I accepted it and never looked back.  If I could never imagine teaching high school, I really never could imagine teaching in an urban school district, but now I wouldn't have it any other way.  Our parents are appreciative, our kids are mostly grateful.  Some of them are struggling with things none of us could ever imagine - hunger, homelessness, absent parents, the list goes on.  Many do not have good home lives.  Many of them see us more than they see their parents.  Many are needy.  The relationships I have formed with my high school kids is far deeper than any relationship I ever formed with my BU kids.  It is challenging and rewarding all at the same time.  

To say they were excited that I am pregnant is an understatement.  They had figured it out long before. I was ready to share, but I continued to keep my secret.  I stressed every day about what to wear, so as not to give it away to the ones who hadn't figured it out.  I told my principal two weeks before I was ready because I didn't want him to learn the news from them.  I listened to them whisper about me for weeks.  Chris and I talked about what I should do and if I should come clean.  I decided to just wait and play it cool.  Finally, one day a particularly bold kid said something that was just too obvious.  I turned to her and told her she was being obvious and to stop.  This is a kid that a few weeks before had come by my room to hang out.  When she got there, she kept talking about babies and how this year was the year of the baby (there are 13 faculty members who are expecting).  Anyway, When I dismissed them to lunch, she and her friend lingered and asked me what I meant by saying she was obvious.  I told her that I thought she knew.  She played dumb and said what do you mean, I said I think you know.  So she said, but are you?  And I said yes.  They screamed in excitement and told me that they had known since March and I said I knew that, but that it is not information that I wanted out that early.   By the end of the day, another class had figured it out, and next I knew it was on Twitter.  I had been outed by a bunch of teenagers.  Throughout that week, I was showered by congratulations from kids and faculty (fortunately, I had been able to get to everyone I wanted to tell myself before the kids outed me).

That was about 5-6 weeks ago.  They are still excited and I don't go a day without having a kid ask me  how I am feeling, what I am going to name her, if I am going to speak French to her, etc.  I have received cards 

and have had touching conversations, like the time the kid told me they were all so excited because they just all loved me so much.  I've also had some funny conversations, like the time a girl told me they knew because my boobs had gotten really big.  

I am not 100% sure what I will do next year, but it would be nice to take the rest of the year off and come back in the fall.  I do know I will miss them and can't imagine my life without them.  I am scared for who will replace me and if they will do good job because my kids deserve the best.  

Quick update on baby Crellin:  I had my 4 month appointment yesterday.  These appointments are short, but still produce a little anxiety for me, a left over repercussion of infertility.  I always worry, what if we don't hear the heartbeat?  What if something is wrong?  Well, everything is fine.  I am finally gaining weight normally, not rapidly (only 3lbs this month!).  We listened to (and I recorded) the heartbeat.  While listening to the heartbeat, we could hear her moving around in there....so awesome.  My midwife confirmed that what I have been feeling is most likely movement and even a few kicks here and there.  I have an posterior placenta, meaning the placenta is attached to the back wall of my uterus.  This is neither good or bad, just normal (love normal!!), but it is allowing me to feel baby moving earlier than average.  I think I first felt it at around 12.5w.   We are 18w today.  Can't believe it.  I am just loving pregnancy - it is a miracle and fills me with wonder and joy.  I always wanted to be the girl who loved being pregnant and here I am, a dream that I never thought would come true.  Next blog will be Monday night after the big anatomy ultrasound!  Stay tuned!! 

A taste of summer!

Not much exciting to report on baby this week.  Just chugging along ready for summer to begin.

Got to my first Red Sox game this week.  I was lucky enough to be invited by my friend Melanie, who had a pair of front row seats!  We were right behind the camera crew.  It was also the celebration of the 2004 team, which was awesome!  So many of the old team came back and we were so lucky to be so close to them.  It was a pretty cold night, not summery at all, but it was a blast!

It was such a beautiful weekend up here in New England. Every time we have weather like this, it reminds me why I live here.  The warm summer sun has finally thawed us out from the long, cold winter.  I am grateful for the long hard winters.  Why, you may ask?  Well, without them, I could never appreciate weather like we had this weekend.  This weather also makes me long for the school year to just end now.  13 more school days and only 8 teaching days after today.  

My goal for the weekend had been to clean my house.  Usually by June, as the school year barrels to its close, my house is a disaster.  This year, it is double the disaster, a result of the extreme fatigue that lasted me through most of May.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the fatigue, I'm happy for any symptoms.  It means all is well.  Having dealt with infertility for so long, I always said I'd welcome feeling like garbage for 9 months.  And I'll definitely take extreme fatigue over throwing up, but it certainly was trying.  Now that my energy is returning, there is wreckage to clean up.  But with the weather so beautiful, I couldn't resist and instead spent as much time as I could outside.  

Saturday started with a run and swim out at Walden.  Then on to a BBQ / housewarming.  Finally, and the only thing that happened baby-related, I spent most of the afternoon at Babies R' Us, getting my registry set up.   My friend Jess was kind enough to offer to help me and I can not say how much I appreciated it.  Her assistance was beyond useful, and made what I thought would be a dreadful and overwhelming task, a fun afternoon.  It also saved Chris from what would have been a painful afternoon, making it a more painful process for me.  Instead, he hung out with Jess' husband,  Jared, one of his longtime friends, and their almost two-year-old daughter.  I think he had a lot more fun doing that than spending the day inside at Babies R' Us with me.  The registry is mostly set-up and ready to go and I even made my first purchase, an adorable pair of shoes that were on clearance.  Hope they fit by Christmas!

I have a few more big items that need to go on there, but they involve some more thought and perhaps a little input from the daddy-to-be.  I'd also like to check out Buy Buy Baby for some of these things. 

Sunday was gorgeous beyond belief.  Again, too nice to stay in and clean the house.  I forced myself to go to the grocery store, which is good because there was almost no food left in the house.  I also cleaned my car, which was almost as big of a disaster as my house, so that was productive.   I have been embarrassed for people to ride in it, it was such a mess. We also went for a long walk and got some ice cream, because this baby likes ice cream :) or at least I keep telling myself that as an excuse.  

As far as baby, like I said, not much happening.  I have a check-up this week, which I expect to be uneventful, and a big ultrasound next week - can't wait for that!  I'm starting to actually look pregnant, instead of fat, but have yet to have anyone ask me when I am due.  I've been wearing maternity clothes since 8 weeks and exclusively since 10, mostly because I can't stand anything restrictive on my stomach, but it's only recently become truly visible.  I went out like gangbusters on the weight gain and have been a little worried about it.  My midwife told me not to worry about it for another month or two as it might level off.  And it has...in fact, since I weighed myself last I've actually lost a pound, which isn't a bad thing since I am ahead of schedule in that department.  I've gained a total of 13 pounds, when most charts say I should have gained no more than 10.  Oh well.  I attribute most of this to the fact that I couldn't do anything but sleep and eat for the first 12 weeks, and since then my energy has been spotty (though fortunately my appetite has decreased).  I am finally exercising regularly again - I got up at 5 this morning to run because the temp is going into the 80s today and that is too hot for me. I would be happy if I could stay where I am until about 21 weeks, and then I will be back in the normal range again, but we'll see what the midwife says.  

So leaving you with my bump pic of the week.  Sorry that I look a mess....Sunday evening after a pretty busy day!  17 weeks and the size of an onion....